Author Topic: SO YOU DON'T GOLF? … HOW COME?  (Read 1250 times)

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Offline mrfeelgood

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« on: June 29, 2012, 11:45:05 AM »


There are a lot of people out there who don’t golf – but want to learn how to golf.

The thing with golf is that it’s not really like some other sports where you can just show up with somebody who knows something about it and have a good time. Golf is not a very approachable sport to some.

You actually have to make an investment in golf before you can do it at all. Take a few other sports as examples. Let’s assume you’ve never done these things before, this is how it would go:

Bowling: Show up with friend, hurl ball down wooden lane. (You’ll suck, but you’ll have fun and get better as the day goes on)

Tennis: Show up with friend, hit yellow ball over net. (You’ll really suck, but you’ll get a good workout and have fun)

Volleyball: Show up at beach with friend, hit white ball over net. (You’ll have a ton of fun, and probably see some pretty people at the beach)

Soccer: Show up with friend, run until you puke. (You’ll have fun until you begin puking)

Golf: How does it work?

1. Somebody must explain the scoring concepts to you, because, let’s face it, they are not easy. (Little known fact: bowling didn’t really take off until automatic scoring was introduced in the 80′s)

2. How does it work again? Somebody has to explain the rules. Because there are a lot, and some are hard to get.
(“Wait a second, so if my ball goes out of bounds I have to hit again from the same spot I hit the first shot, but if it goes into a hazard I can hit from where it crossed over into the hazard. And it’s marked with red or yellow, sometimes, and I have to take a stroke penalty. And I have 5 minutes to look for my ball, but I don’t want to hold up the group behind me, and I let the person behind me hit before going in front of them, and I can’t ground my club in blah blah blah blah …. and grounding the club is when…blah blah blah and don’t move an object that is blah blah … but you can move … blah blah blah!!”)

3. Buy/rent/borrow clubs. Somebody must explain why there are different clubs for different purposes. Somebody must explain why they cost so much money.

4. Go to driving range, several times. Somebody must explain how to swing a club, and how to make contact with the ball, and why it goes in all sorts of directions

5. Go to the putting green, many times. Somebody must explain why this part is so important, because it seems like the only easy part of the whole damn game.

6. Get a tee time. Hopefully you do it at a course and a time when it doesn’t matter that you really suck. Because, you will.

7. Play golf. BADLY. Don’t have any fun, because of the frustrating, infuriating, confusing, and complicated nature of the game.
Pray to get to the putting green so you can do the easy part. Pray to get through a round without borrowing balls from your playing partner. Pray for the restraint to not break any clubs. Pray your friend doesn’t tell anybody about this.

8. Get in trouble for doing something wrong. Somebody must explain the etiquette of golf, because it’s not easy, either.
(“OK, this is how it works: Don’t play slow, don’t spend too much time looking for lost balls, yell “FORE” when you hit your ball close to another golfer, don’t move or speak when somebody else is hitting, wait for the person behind you to hit first, furthest from the cup putts first, unless your ball is closer but still off the green, refrain from yelling curse words when you mess up, don’t spin donuts in your golf cart, etc etc, and blah blah blah.”)

9. Finish a round. Retire to the clubhouse. Have your drinks and complain loudly about golf.

10. Decide if you ever want to do this again.

Some people choose not to ever golf again. But at least they can say they tried. But some people connect, and love it, and golf for the rest of their life.

Once you get past the initial learning curve – the key to having fun at golf is to play good golf. When you play good, you have fun. GOLF IS AN AWESOME SPORT ... but only when you feel good about it!
« Last Edit: June 29, 2012, 12:35:18 PM by mrfeelgood »